Who Wins? A Taxonomy.

As a follow-up to my last post, here's my attempt at a taxonomy of "who wins" under various economic systems. You may perhaps detect a smidgen of a hint of bias, but pay no heed. ;-)

Hunter-Gatherer Society: No one wins.

Classical Slaveholding Society: Those who choose the right parents win, everyone else loses.

Feudalism: "Winning" means knowing your place, serf! Now be so good as to polish my boots.

Theocracy: "Winning" comes only in the next life. Now send us your money and you will be on God's good side.

Marxism (theoretical): Everyone wins equally! (details to follow...)

Marxism (applied): Everyone loses equally...but if we had just implemented it correctly, everyone would have won equally! (details to follow...)

Laissez-Faire Capitalism: Anyone can win big, if he works 0.001% harder than the people standing next to him!

Ayn Randism: The Ubermenschen would win if those darn Untermenschen just stopped their looting and mooching!

Nazism: The Ubermenschen will win, the Untermenschen will make lovely decorative candles.

Japanism: Everyone wins (as long as he is born with a Y chromosome, does well on his entrance exams, and swears lifetime fealty to a large famous corporation with good connections in the bureaucracy, mafia, and ruling political party)!

Europeanism: We just need to define a better measure of "winning." Such as how many teenage girls are currently partying at my villa. Bunga bunga!

Tea Party Conservatism: Every Real American would win, if those lazy blacks and Mexicans stopped stealing our hard-earned money with All Those Government Programs. Now keep your hands off my Medicare!

Mushy Milquetoast Middle-of-the-Road Mixed-Economy American Liberalism: Everyone can win a reasonable amount, as long as they work hard and play by the rules. And if someone gets lucky or has a great idea they can win even more.


And the winner is...Ayn Randism!

Easy choice, right? :-)