Something is wrong with me (magdy galal)

Do you feel sad, and Depression comes causeless? Then feel joy and ecstasy, also happen without any known reason? And while begin recuperation your activity and vital, the depression storm again!
Do you find yourself wandering between pink fantasy, and the maximum severity of melancholy realism?
Do you feel alienated among the closest people? Peculiar and other can't understand you?
Find yourself intelligent, energetic, ambitious and friendly, and also have same much of idiocy, frustration, nervousness and hatred!
If answer Yes

Then the closest probability you are a mental patient. Specifically one of those has bipolar disorder illness.
And who writes these words, one of them.

I'm someone. 25 years old. Studying civil engineering and barely will graduate. I am in final year of the university.

One day while browsing the Internet, read an article of an intellectual talking about existential question, religion and god. Went to comments on the article, one of those took about personal life of the intellectual and gave an explanation to this question; why he committed suicide? Where the thinker called Ismail Adham had committed suicide plunging himself into the river!
Said I think his suicide because of depression passed at one of setback shifts that related to bipolar disorder illness, and references to his friend story who was suffering from same bipolar disorder illness and committed suicide by taking an increased dosage of sedatives.

I silence a moment, realized the answer on the deep confusion inside me. This idea haunts me for years. Why always thinks about suicide? Why more times find the suicide as sanctuary and optimal choice for me? Without reason or really problem I lost any desire to live? Why spent more of my thinking searching for suicide method?
Accidentally I known the answer now, as a comfort I felt that I got an answer on confusion question, but it is a disappointment, I'm mental ill!
I went Google and search illness, results began showing, many pages talking about illness, causes, symptoms and treatments. Persons write them complaint, some of them know that they have bipolar disorder illness and others don't know. Woman talks about her troubled life with husband who accuse her that she aborted their fetus. Another suffered woman wonders; my husband accuses me spying on him for intelligence agency! A person writing about his friend went to down himself in sea within his car

Did I one of them having bipolar disorder illness? Yes!
Did its treatments happen to me? Through reading bipolar disorder treatments, yes
I had read many articles related to the illness and be sure that I have bipolar disorder, and founded the symptoms such mania or depression have been passed.

For long time I triad forgetting that I have bipolar disorder illness, I don't know why! May be thought that forgetting will make me don't feel bipolar disorder symptoms! It was silly belief, I lived with bipolar disorder symptoms gain and again, I can't deceive my self, but I never told any one about my illness.

Now, I decided to write about my self. My journey, my dramatic changes life, ups and downs is a novel

With blogging I will make each article as short story, think I have the ability to write as literature, after ending my stories will combines all in novel, because I see my life contains many unexpected and dramatic events on an intellectual level, human and social, my study, relation to religion, my family and the only love. All this were turning points and will produce special novel.
I am Fyodor Dostoyevsky

If I prevented my tongue talks to rounded people, but will allow my pin talk, I will leave a free area about suffering
It will be nice get other whose have bipolar disorder illness, and my results to deal with the illness. I hope help all and share with them our experiences and lives, as is known that communication between mental ills is an important method to treatment, particularly people have bipolar disorder illness because they feel foreignness and introversion, where others can't understand us.

Processing ...

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Something is wrong with me (MOM Gambier)

You feel sad and depression just feel? Can feel joy and ecstasy, also occur without any known reason? And while that when the activity begins recovery and vital, the depression of storm again!
Do you find yourself wandering between pink fantasy and the maximum severity of the melancholy realism?
You feel alienated among the nearest people? Strange and others can not understand you?
Find intelligent, energetic, ambitious and friendly and also have plenty of idiocy, frustration and nervousness of hatred!
If yes answer

Then, the probability closer than you are mentally ill. More precisely one of those has bipolar disorder disease.
And who wrote these words, one of them.

I am a person. 25 year-old. Civil engineering student and barely graduating. I am in final year of University.

One day while browsing the Internet, read an article of an intellectual talk of God, religion and existential question. I went to the comments on article, among those taken on the personal lives of the intellectual and gave an explanation to this question; why he committed suicide? Where the thinker called Ismail Abdulla had committed suicide plunges himself into the River!
Said I think his suicide because depression is one of the reverse changes related to bipolar disease and references to its story of a friend who suffered from a manic-depressive disease and committed suicide by taking a dose of sedatives.

I keep silent a moment, realized the answer on the deep confusion inside of me. This idea haunts me for years. Why always thinking about suicide? Why several times to find suicide as the sanctuary and the best choice for me? Without reason or really problem I lost all desire to live? Why spent more of my thought looking for a method of suicide?
Accidentally I've known the answer now as a comfort I felt that I got a response on the issue of confusion, but it's a disappointment, I'm sick mental!
I went to Google and the search for disease, results started showing, many pages to talk about the disease, causes, symptoms and treatments. People write their complaint, some of them know that they have a disorder bipolar disease and others do not know. Woman speaks his life disturbed with the husband who accuse him that she aborted their fetus. Another suffered wonders of women; My husband accused me of spying for the Agency's intelligence on him! A person who writes about his friend went himself down at sea in his car

Disorder I one of them with bipolar illness? Yes!
Her treatments are happened to me? By reading the the bipolar disorder treatments, Yes
I'd read lots of articles related to the disease and do not forget that I have bipolar disorder and founded the symptoms as mania or depression have been passed.

Long time I triad forget that I have the disease of bipolar disorder, I do not know why! May be thought that forget will make me do not feel the symptoms of bipolar disorder! It is the stupid belief, I lived with a gain of bipolar disorder symptoms and yet, I can't fool myself, but I have never said that one on my illness.

Now, I decided to write about my self. My journey, my life of dramatic changes, the ups and downs is a novel

With blogging, I will make each item as a short story, think I have the ability to write literature, after ending my stories combine everything in the novel, because I see my life contains many unexpected and dramatic events on an intellectual, human and social level my study, relationship to religion, family and love alone. All this have been rotating and will produce special novel.
I'm Fiodor Dostoyevsky

If I have prevented my discussions of language to round people, but allow my statement of PIN, I'll leave a free space on suffering
It will be beautiful get other who have the disease of bipolar disorder and my results to treat the disease. I hope help all and share with them our experiences and lives, we know that communication between the mental pain is an important method of treatment, particularly individuals have bipolar disorder disease because they feel strangeness and introversion, where others can not understand us.

Treatment...

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